I should be used to this: It's the height of spring approaching summer and the amount of work in the landscape piles up mercifully and it gets harder and harder to stay on top of anything. Feeling like you've accomplished something arduous and physically and mentally draining only to learn that you've barely dug the hole or if the the hole's been dug, there's no freakin' way that plant is going in there because any wrong move will be severely scrutinized by someone in the know.
I hate to be so overly critical of my work, but I often let it get to me and, recently, I was scolding myself for not doing ANYTHING right. I would scream at myself for forgetting little things and constantly blaming myself for not getting things done the way I had intended both at my work sites and in my own garden.
Stress? I guess. I know there are more stressful jobs out there and I really shouldn't be complaining, but managing time seems to get harder and harder for me. I already struggle with getting enough sleep and with all sorts of projects, events, commitments, and attempts at a social life, it often gets to me.
As you know, I met a man named Pearl a few weeks back and was reminded of something very important: "Create a garden that is exclusively yours; you do it the way you want to do it in your own time without worrying about what other people might think and take the time to be proud of what you've done. You garden for yourself"
These are words I've definitely heard before; someone without horticultural training might be able to get away with this, but I often feel the pressure at times and in some ways, I've been so afraid to work in my garden because of this standard I have set for myself and in other gardens and feeling like it could NEVER be of that caliber. Now, I feel like it has gotten away from me...
i have a three day weekend to rediscover my vision and feel alive in my garden once again.
Wish me luck,
R
